I'm Impressed

Well . . . he can talk. That is an improvement, right? Bring on the Terrorist, socialist, Israeli hating, elitist. I hope that he is the magic fix that everyone over here believes that he will be.

peace, love, and happiness

New Talent!!!

So, last night I am cooking dinner for myself (a rare treat) consisting of a couple of fried eggs, bread, juice, and milk. As I am cooking the eggs I realize that my spatula is dirty, and not wanting to take precious egg cooking time to clean it, I instead take the pan and toss the eggs, simultaneously they flip and land back in the pan, all without breaking a yoke. Now, I am not sure that you are understanding the implications of this new skill I have procured; not only does it impress the ladies, but it also means that I can do fewer dishes as I no longer need a spatula. Pretty sweet, huh?

Regarding My Future Job

After some serious study over the past years; including watching Tombstone, 3.10 to Yuma, The Proposition, The Assassination of Jesse James, and The High Plains Drifter, and listening to Johnny Cash, Murder by Death, The Raconteurs, and The Decembrists, I have decided that I should be allowed to carry a 30/30 lever action shot gun and a six shooter while riding around on horseback, dressed in a wool button up, black sash, black cowboy hat, and a waxed slicker shooting stuff.

Obviously I went to school for the wrong profession.